here we go (again)
hi, assalamualaikum. its december 21st of 2018 and this is the first real entry of the diary. enjoy ;)
okay. last night around 2 am, i have to pee really bad. I was planning on not peeing because i was super lazy but then i remembered that i am trying to fix my life. so then i peed, washed my face then brushed my teeth. i began doing things i used to do, in the hopes that that could conquer my depression and get the real me back. i didn't fill the buckets in the bathroom tho. I know my sister would be so pissed off tomorrow but turning the water equal noise and noise in 2 am is not good.
but today, when i woke up around 6:41, the buckets in the bathroom were already filled. i guess someone filled when they were taking morning prayer. i didnt hear my alarm went off. i might have woken up earlier than 6, but i guess i went straight back to sleep. i believe that i woke up because i have to poop real bad. thinking that today i have to be productive, i chose to take a shower right after i poop. i then brush my hair because i havent brush my hair in a while. okay, i mightve brushed it days ago, so my hairs not that tangled. one time, my hair was so tangled, i have to cut it with a scissor because it gave me a headache. my hair is long i guess, shoulder length ish, a little bit curly and wavy. kinda like diana ross. or a lions mane. needless to say, i was a afraid i was going bald. because i have an extreme hair fall due to extreme stress. and it scares me, a little. i dont mind going bald, but i kinda like my hair now. so now, im trying so hard to not being depressed that much and put products in my hair, so that i will not be bald in near future.
todays agenda are cleaning my room. i want to create comfortable environments around me so that i could be productive and then buying all the necessity for planning and also some healthy snacks.
ive started cleaning my room around 8 am and finished around 3. man, it was tiring, i ended up taking a 30 minutes nap right after i finished cleaning. and being like super exhausted for a few hours. like i was in a limbo or something. then at 7:30 ish pm, i went i shopping. i ended up buying things that are worth around IDR 400k. and i only had 400k on my wallet and i was kinda surprised that it costs a lot, but all is well.
after i went home from shopping, a weird thing happened. my mom and my sister were a lot supportive. they say that its okay to buy things you want once in a while. it was unexpected, it caught me off guard. i thought theyd be mad or something because i spent 400k on stuff but no, they were more than okay with it. so yeah, life can be unexpected. like today. i didnt expect me to be able to redecorate my room, rearranging my closet so that it would be filled with my stuff, not anyone elses. i knew i could do great things, it just a matter of time.
ill have to stop here, its almost midnight and i have to go for a jog first thing in the morning.
see ya later, goat butter.
love,
prat
okay. last night around 2 am, i have to pee really bad. I was planning on not peeing because i was super lazy but then i remembered that i am trying to fix my life. so then i peed, washed my face then brushed my teeth. i began doing things i used to do, in the hopes that that could conquer my depression and get the real me back. i didn't fill the buckets in the bathroom tho. I know my sister would be so pissed off tomorrow but turning the water equal noise and noise in 2 am is not good.
but today, when i woke up around 6:41, the buckets in the bathroom were already filled. i guess someone filled when they were taking morning prayer. i didnt hear my alarm went off. i might have woken up earlier than 6, but i guess i went straight back to sleep. i believe that i woke up because i have to poop real bad. thinking that today i have to be productive, i chose to take a shower right after i poop. i then brush my hair because i havent brush my hair in a while. okay, i mightve brushed it days ago, so my hairs not that tangled. one time, my hair was so tangled, i have to cut it with a scissor because it gave me a headache. my hair is long i guess, shoulder length ish, a little bit curly and wavy. kinda like diana ross. or a lions mane. needless to say, i was a afraid i was going bald. because i have an extreme hair fall due to extreme stress. and it scares me, a little. i dont mind going bald, but i kinda like my hair now. so now, im trying so hard to not being depressed that much and put products in my hair, so that i will not be bald in near future.
todays agenda are cleaning my room. i want to create comfortable environments around me so that i could be productive and then buying all the necessity for planning and also some healthy snacks.
ive started cleaning my room around 8 am and finished around 3. man, it was tiring, i ended up taking a 30 minutes nap right after i finished cleaning. and being like super exhausted for a few hours. like i was in a limbo or something. then at 7:30 ish pm, i went i shopping. i ended up buying things that are worth around IDR 400k. and i only had 400k on my wallet and i was kinda surprised that it costs a lot, but all is well.
after i went home from shopping, a weird thing happened. my mom and my sister were a lot supportive. they say that its okay to buy things you want once in a while. it was unexpected, it caught me off guard. i thought theyd be mad or something because i spent 400k on stuff but no, they were more than okay with it. so yeah, life can be unexpected. like today. i didnt expect me to be able to redecorate my room, rearranging my closet so that it would be filled with my stuff, not anyone elses. i knew i could do great things, it just a matter of time.
ill have to stop here, its almost midnight and i have to go for a jog first thing in the morning.
see ya later, goat butter.
love,
prat
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